Hosea's Heart

The beautiful thing about being broken beyond repair, is that when wounds are mended and things are renewed you can account all of it to the works of the hands of our living God. A completely broken heart cannot force itself back to life. There must be a source involved. A Great Healer.

The first thing God redeemed in my heart was His Word. It makes perfect sense for Him to do this since He then used His Word to redeem everything else. It was kind of strange picking up my Bible after months of loathing it. I had a sense of curiosity but still so much hesitation. I felt no obligation at all, I was done with the old motivations and had handed over my salvation to Christ. My prayers were constant cries for instruction and direction at all cost. I prayed God would be the hand that would lead me in His ways and for once I really did not care what other Christians were doing. I remembered a few valued friends of mine telling me to read the book of Hosea and with this in mind I picked up my dusty Bible and fumbled my way to the small book I had never really heard of before. The pages I read shocked me. Never once had I heard about the type of restoration and redemption offered in those versus. I felt like I had been told a secret about God that no one had ever known.

The story goes like this, God speaks to Hosea (a man after His own heart) and tells him to marry a prostitute. He tells Hosea to do this to demonstrate that He is faithful to Israel despite their constant rebellion and impurity. Hosea obeyed. As I read I was thinking "Of course, now she will open up and leave her old ways of prostitution and they will live happily ever after". No! She was unfaithful all the time. She had numerous children with other men and God still commanded Hosea to stay with her. God then starts comparing the wife to His nation, His bride, and to her constant rebellion. This is were the story gets good. I recommend reading the whole book if you never have.

"I will hedge her way up with thorns and I will build a wall against her, so that she cannot find her paths, she will pursue her lovers but not overtake them" (Hosea 1:6-7)

"Therefore behold I will allure her, and bring her back into the wilderness.." (2:14) 

"And in that day declares the Lord you will call me 'My husband' instead of 'my master'" (2:16)

"Come let us return to the Lord, he has torn us, that He may heal us.." (6:1)

Let's make sure we get this. Israel rebelled. Not once, but all the time. For years and years. While there were consequenses to their sin, and many of them died, God did not give into His anger. He instead starting chasing. All His glory and strength and anger was poured into getting them back!

My heart was pounding. I stayed up that night and read the book of Hosea a few times in different versions and just could not get enough. These verses meant so many things to my heart. It meant first of all that God could forgive and heal me. It also meant that He would chase me and pursue me even in the midst of me going after other things. He loved me in a way that was not about what I could offer. He was jealous for my affection. It seemed so scandalous to me! Jesus Christ, Lord of Lords, Son of God, wanted me. Not only did God promise then that he would heal me, he also promised that he would run after me and block all my paths that were leading me away from him. I was almost blushing. The intimacy and depth to this love exceeded anything I had ever heard! My heart softened.

I did not know where to start. There were so many things built up in my life. Lies embedded deep in my heart, bitterness, self-hatred, and unbreakable habits. I was still scared, and even a little skeptical. I was afraid of Him rejecting me. I did not even know if the God I encountered that night was anything like the God I perceived in the world around me. The story in Hosea did not match up with the character of God I thought I had memorized. I didn't even know for sure if this is what I wanted. I had no idea what this meant for my friendships, my habits or my day to day life. What would the cost be? What would I have to give up to follow him? I had no idea.

But the feeling in my chest, the way my heart was pounding, and the fire I felt rising in my spirit changed me. I knew I had been found by Someone bigger than all my questions, Someone who longed to heal me, and Someone with a love for me that would not relent until I was completely His. 

Martina Sobey