He is Lifted Up, I am Humbled

In the fall, I applied for a nursing opportunity through school to go on a three month funded trip to Kenya. It involves working in a pregnancy clinic and the school sends two third year students each year. I prayed about applying for this trip and asked God to really change my heart to want His plan. I felt very passionate about applying for the placement, so I did. Kenya is pretty dangerous right now and with the travel advisory I was unsure if the trip would even be happening this year but I applied.

I waited to hear back about the placement and my main focus was simply on if I would get chosen. I wasn't even thinking about the trip yet. Anyways long story short me and another classmate got chosen for the placement but they informed us there was a chance the trip would not be happening.

Once I was chosen I started actually praying about the trip itself. Three months in Kenya working with moms and babies, funded by the government sounds like an amazing opportunity. I couldn't figure out why I wasn't getting excited. When I thought about it I almost felt relieved at the idea of backing out. I prayed some more and came to the conclusion that if this opportunity is amazing, and God seems to be saying not to go, there must be a reason, something He wants me to wait for.

Something can be ideal, a perfect chance, and everyone might tell you its a great opportunity, but ultimately God's plan is the best choice. His plan is better. His ways are always faithful.

When I decided not to go to Kenya I felt so excited! Before I could even officially say no to Kenya God showed me His plan, His best.

Haiti.

My boyfriend, Luke and his family are a blog entry in themselves but long story short they take a team to Haiti each spring that includes medical volunteers as well as a team who builds a house for a Haitian family. Pretty amazing. For ten days they treat patients and pray for them, while blessing a family with a new home. So when Luke's mom, Andrea told me to pray about going to Haiti with their team I was too excited about it to even consider not going! I prayed for God to open and close doors and to make it clear one way or the other. This Haiti trip was scheduled for May 30 to June 8. Right smack in the middle of my summer clinical rotation for school. Hmm.

I went to the School of Nursing and decided to talk to the woman in charge of our clinical placements. I was thinking at best I would have enough available sick days to just count up my missed time for Haiti and continue on. I was crushed when the conversation started with "I can't see that being possible". Available sick time and missed hours was about half of what I needed it to be and she told me I would have to pay a nurse to work with me to make up the missed time. Basically the answer was no. I sat in her office awkwardly trying not to cry. It didn't really make sense to me. I felt so strongly that I should be going! I started doubting my discernment and wondered if maybe I had let my emotions tell me I was supposed to go.

Then quietly, I felt God challenge me. "Will you trust me?"

Would I trust that no matter who said no, no matter how impossible it seemed, that if He wanted me there, I'd be there.

I wish I had the conversation video tapped.

Without any convincing or begging, she flipped through her calender and paused. "Wait a minute, what are the dates again? I have you scheduled for those exact two weeks in a community health placement. What if we counted your Haiti trip as clinical hours?" Essentially since many nurses and doctors are going, I can be evaluated on my performance in Haiti and not only will I not miss any time, I will have more than enough.

I left her office so confused. It happened so quickly. She said no, then God spoke, then she said yes. She ended the conversation with "If you can clear this with your professors, I would love to support you in this".

What? Was that a coincidence? Did God seriously just change her mind? Yes He did. What seemed like a small discussion and a thought process and realization, I see as God's hand at work ensuring I will be where He wants me to be. Wow.


The next day, after getting my professor's support, I received an email from the School saying the trip is a go. Not only did they support it, but they wanted to send someone with me. And they wanted to send two students on this Christian, medical mission trip each year. My application for Kenya served as qualification for this international trip to Haiti. So not only do I go, but my application to Kenya makes me qualified on paper to be allowed to go, and two nursing students each year will get to experience this same trip!

God is sovereign. His will prevails. He wants to be deeply involved in the details of our choices. If we can trust Him, He will make a way. 

My next road block for Haiti is the 1800 dollars needed by February 23rd. Am I worried? Not really. I don't know what God providing will look like. But I know He will do it. How could I doubt at this point? If He can change someones mind in a few seconds, surely He can provide the funds needed to go.

As if all this wasn't crazy enough, before any fundraising, without even starting the process, I went to Luke's house for supper. His younger sister Katherine came downstairs with an envelope with 290 dollars in it. She wanted me to have it for Haiti. She is a busy student, in grade 12, working part time and God used her beyond measure. It took me about 20 minutes to actually accept the money. I was so humbled. God used her to provide financially to me, but also to show me His power, His control, and a new hope that He could provide.

"Not only will I provide for this trip, I will do it in the least expected ways. I will do it in my timing, and through it, you will be humbled, and I will be lifted up."

God's hand is in our every move. He is so huge and powerful, but still so involved and so close to us who draw near to Him.

I've been directed by God before, but never this clearly. My next challenge from Him is to stop being prideful and to ask for money, and let Him decide who gives and how it all comes together. I don't share because I want to ask for your money, but there is something powerful about being lowered before God and needing Him to be the one to provide. There is also something crazy about allowing each other, as brothers and sisters in Christ, to support each other out of love. So if you truly feel God lays Haiti on your heart, let me know. I am beyond excited to see God work miracles on this trip. I can't help but think there must be some pretty cool things in store for Haiti, because the Lord of all creation, in all His magnitude and glory is really making sure I end up there!

Martina Sobey